What Makes Me This Way
My name is Sally, a.k.a. Frugal Sally to many. I was asked a question the other day that made me stop and go "hmmm". They asked me "what makes you this way?" I had to really think about that. I've "been this way" for so long now that I had to go back a way to see where it started.
I was a military brat; we never really settled down before we were moving again. So we really didn't have much of anything and lived a fairly non-materialistic life. Then when my father passed, we were basically homeless because my parents had no clue as to insurance, wills, or any of that. We went to live with my grandmother, who was a survivor of "The Great Depression". That is where I was taught my first lessons in frugality.
She taught me to live by the motto "use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without". Everything had a second use to it. Potato net bags were bundled up with a rubber band and used as pot scrubbers. Nylons that had runs in them were used to hold onions. Aluminum foil was washed and used again. Nothing went to waste. Years of living with her paid off, it started sinking in.
This helped because I was young and foolish and married before I even finished high school. We had nothing. I had my first child, my son, a little over a year after we tied the knot. When we brought him home from the hospital he literally slept in a dresser drawer that sat on top of our nightstand for 8 weeks (making do with what we had). I used cloth diapers and did everything I could to cut corners. I luckily had a job that allowed me to take him with me to work. We worked hard and things improved.
At one point in the marriage, my husband lost his job. I was 6 months pregnant with our second child. We had no insurance after that. He took every job that was offered, all being temporary before finally being rehired by the company that fired him. In the meantime we had bill collectors calling and harassing us. It was at this point that I made up my mind that I would never, ever let myself get into that position again. Never be so poor that we could not pay the bills or not eat. Always be proactive and stay ahead of the game.
My husband thought otherwise, he thought we should "have what makes you happy, and what you deserve". He spent and spent. It caused great conflict between us and all we did was fight over money. Our marriage ended and he split without ever paying a cent in child support. I lost the house (sold it before we could lose it) and moved on. It was all I could do to keep a roof over the kids’ heads. I was making about $9 an hour and had 3 children to feed.
I married again, mostly for convenience and for the help with the kids (yes, I will admit this). Ended up not being such a wise choice. We had a nice home and the kids were taken care of. I wanted to be debt free and have a savings of some type and he said I was a "money grubber" (so we disagreed on the subject of money).
At one point I tried so hard not to be a "money grubber" that I ended up in credit card debt to the tune of about $40,000. I didn't care at the time. I could pay it off - whenever. Wow, was I wrong. Very bad timing too, the marriage was going south quickly and I had to be out of debt before it was over just to survive. I had to do this and quickly!! I worked 2 and 3 jobs and put every cent towards that debt. I would get off one job and go directly to the next. For 3 years I did this. I cut every corner I knew of, and used every frugal tip I had in my arsenal. I had a goal to be out of this marriage by the time my last child graduated high school. I wanted to get her out off to college before I had to sell the house so I could get a small place and afford to live. I did it!! Everything was paid except the car. The house was up for sale. The marriage ended right on time and I lost my retirement and savings to the lawyers.
I am now married for the 3rd time, and yes it is a charm. He is very supportive of the way I run the house and how frugal I am. He lets me ramble on about the new ways I've learned to save here and there. He puts up with me doing things like having cable cut off because I won't pay that much and going with something like Netflix (and now he can't watch baseball). He lets me cruise the second hand stores and thrift shops for bargains. He puts up with budget meals and my spending our day off cooking a month's worth of meals for the freezer because it' cheaper that way. He doesn't say a word when I'm on the computer 8 hours a day or more trying to research ways to save money and blogging about it to help others.
So, after losing everything I've had in my life 3 times now I am of the frame of mind that living frugally is the best way of life, to me it is the only way to live. I am grateful to my grandmother that taught me how to survive on little and make do with what I have. It helped me to survive when most would have caved. Most would have gone on welfare or filed for bankruptcy. These options are fine and I have nothing against them, it just was not for me. I wanted to fight my way out and I did. Being frugal has afforded me things I would have never been able to do, and paid for with cash. We are currently working on paying off our home early and living totally debt free. We want it paid off before we retire (hopefully in the next 15 years). We have our emergency fund and we are saving for retirement. Things are going well.
Being Frugal Sally has helped me to be more stress free. To worry less about what tomorrow may bring. To know that I can and will survive. So if you want to know "why I'm this way" maybe knowing what it took to get me there will give you that answer. It has been a hard journey, but there is nothing I would not live through again because it "made me this way."
Check out the Being Frugal Sally blog and/or follow her on Facebook!
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This is the FIRST in a series of articles by "FRUGAL SALLY."
Watch for our FRUGAL PHILLY feature in up-coming newsletters
for more ideas from Sally & other frugal authors.
